A narcissist spouse, whether a narcissistic father or a narcissistic mother, is only interested in themselves because they see themselves as the center of the universe.
That vision does not change when he or she has children, but don’t take that to mean he or she is likely to shrug off child custody issues.
In order to maintain the grandiose and inflated personality he or she has created, your narcissist spouse will go into the divorce intending to win all issues at all costs.
You need to know how to divorce a narcissist and win.
A no-holds-barred divorce battle is unpleasant for all involved, including you, since your spouse will view you as their mortal enemy.
But this kind of high conflict, contentious divorce is particularly damaging for your children who will be manipulated by your spouse and used as pawns against you without regard to the emotional damage caused to the children.
Narcissists Are Not Good Parents
If you have children with a narcissist spouse, you already know that narcissists do not make very good parents.
People with this personality disorder use others, including their kids, to meet their own needs.
If the narcissist finds a child talented or intelligent, they use her as an accouterment to demonstrate to others how great he or she is as a parent.
They ignore the kids who aren’t overachievers, who are difficult or timid or have special needs.
Even the “exceptional” child will be ignored by the narcissist parent when nobody is around to show her off to.
The narcissist usually doesn’t have much time for their kids.
They don’t engage with them, and rarely attend their school or extracurricular activities, giving them the clear message that they aren’t important enough. Of course, the harm a narcissist parent inflicts on his or her children can be far worse than this.
A narcissist tends to be judgmental and critical of everyone around them, ridiculing and mocking them viciously in order to boost their fragile ego.
They are easily angered by the perceived slight, including any moment a child isn’t paying him or her the attention they feel they deserve.
They may erupt in rage if one of the kids disagrees with his or her opinions or fails to meet expectations.